Blue Passport*

One Saturday night, me, M, N, and T went to a birthday party in Georgetown. It was at a nameless club. I have no problems with being a minority at a party or any social gathering for that matter. What I do have a problem with is when people act like I’ve trampled their civil liberties by bringing my color in the air they breath.

We 4 ladies get there. There’s a line. We know we need to get in before 12 or else we have to pay. It’s about 11:55 when we get there and the line is long. Since M knew the birthday guy, she went to the front, spoke to someone, and brokered a deal for all four of us to skip the line and go right in. We’re standing there waiting to get in. Right at the front of the line are these other four chicks. They were wrinkled faced about the whole thing. As I walked in, I turned to them and said, “Yes, this is really happening.” See, it wasn’t so much that I was being a b*, or maybe I was. But while we were standing there waiting to get in, SEVERAL white people went in and those chicks didn’t bat an eye. But when we went, I guess we were the Black straws that broke the of-color-but-not-Black camel’s back. Did I mention these broads weren’t white–but checkother. As in not white, Black, Hispanic, Pacific Asian Islander!! On any AMERICAN document, those broads are checking “Other”. Hence the tem ‘checkother’.

We get in. Quite noteworthy is how evident it was that Black women are truly all the rage. It’s not even a secret fetish some white men have. They were all over us like we were giving illegal stock tips and had kegs strapped to our bossom. And by “all over” I mean circling the wagons, making loud observations, but not having the ballz to say anything directly to us. The night went much this way. At one point, we had a group of ass-mirers (because they really were standing behind us) having a rather frank discussion on how great all four of our hind-parts are. They were drunk, therefore, loud and prone to stand too close. Poor T, at one point, turned around and could smell the beer leaking from their pores. I guess this is a time to highlight that their behavior was not due to their race but to their gender and too much alcohol/beer.

Just as one group had enough liquid courage to approach us from the back side, one VERY large, braid wearing Black man came up to us from the front. If ever there was proof that a large Black man is the white-man-in-social-scene repellant, this was it. No sooner than harmless, but large Black guy parted his lips, I heard over my shoulders, “Abort!! Abort the mission.” And when I turned to look, the group who’d sent a point man over to talk to us had disappeared. Poof!!

Fun Fact: Did you all know you could have an event at Neiman’s and you don’t have to pay anything for it? Did you know that they will give your guest(s) of honor all sorts of goodies? They will give her a big bag full of goodies. I’m not talking sample goodies either. I’m talking Perfume, not Eau De “Toilette” either. Two bottle. All for free. FREE. As in NO PAY!!! Did you know they will give you wine and what not just to try on and eventually buy shoes?? Did you know that this is where my friends and I belong??

As the night went on, the original checkother chicks kept giving us the stink eye. Most women hate other women. This is true. But. Not even the white girls cared that we were there. But these chicks just had it in for us. I even checked to make sure it was just us they were mean-muggin’. And that’s when I saw the other groups of very pretty, but knapsackless, Black women standing near us. The checkothers were stinky to them too.

Obviously hyped on liquid courage, plain stupidity, an unwarranted knapsack of curry, one chick brushed past T so close T jumped because she could feel the heat from the chick’s cigarette against her skin. Then another chick, from this same crew, found her way over and brushed up against N and hit her in the face!!! That was it!! N grabbed the girl by the arm and stopped her. N said something like, “You’re going to say excuse me.” The girl tried to maintain a solid grill but her face cracked, she eventually said the right thing to N. There seems to be a lot of hard, excuse-me-less shoving going on in there because I think each of us had to ‘enlighten and encourage’ these broads to say “excuse me”.

The only thing that differentiated us from the other women in the party was our skin color. That. Was. The. Only. Thing. Again, the white chicks could have cared less that we were there. And even if they had acted out of the box, some could argue that it wouldn’t be nearly as shocking. But it seemed to me, that us being there messed up some secret hierarchy.

There is absolutely no way that these chicks could take such an attitude towards us. On what grounds? These checkother broads are one plane ride from being clad in Burkah!! One waxing from being goony-goo-goo-b*s! A nose job from even approaching pretty. I mean come on–these chicks have to wait in the “other” line at the airport. You know –the one for folks without the blue passport. Maybe it’s all that waiting in that other line that got their granny panties in a bunch. They should have been glad that the die hard, anti-Middle East Repubs in there were too drunk to harass them!!

And don’t go sending me crap saying I’m a racist. If I am so what. There’s nothing you can do about this. This is my page. Nobody checks me for content! Thankyouverymuch!!

*This might seem familiar. If it does, you’re write. I posted this a while back. Like in 2004!