Heaven Folder

“All that counts in life; all that counts in the end; and all that you’ll ever be judged on are:
your relationships, your word, your work.”

~Some cat in a bar.

Is this true?? I think spirituality has to be in there somewhere. And what work are they talking about? If I were to bite the bullet right now and these were the things used to determine if I get into the sweet spot, how would I do?

Work? If they’re talking about what I do between 7:30-3:30 then ugh! I’m a white collar free agent. But when I’m on a job, I do the damn thing…Except when I’m blogging. Speaking of jobs, the sitch isn’t too lovely right now. Don’t get me wrong, I love the folks I work with. Really do. But I’ve recently got some imformation that, well let’s just say, I gotta poiund the pavement again. I work in an industry that fluctuates. While I don’t sell anything I do work based on how well the salespeople are doing or how well the project is going. I’ll give myself a score of about 30 (out of 33.333) simply because my job work is damn on point!

But if by ‘work’ they mean what I left in this world, what I contributed, I think I’ve done pretty good thus far. Even in small ways, on my worse day I try to be better than I was yesterday and affect someone positively. If by ‘work’ the mean good deeds, then sure I’ve done my share considering my age. Did I tell y’all I’ve decided to do 30 over? So on January 20th, wish me a happy 30th birthday. I have decided. So it shall be written. And in that case, I’ll give myself the full 33.333 points.

My word?? That’s my bond. Ya-heard-me? If I say I’m gonna do something, consider it done! And I have a low tolerance for people who don’t run their shop the same way. If you aren’t going to do something, shut the hell up. Don’t make promises. And if something comes up, a phone call works wonders. I’m gonna give myself the full 33.333 points on this one. And if there were bonus points being given, I’d probably quailify for those too.

Intentions?? Do they factor in on how someone’s word is judged? Do they get points for giving their word with good intentions? I’ve never been one to give too much credit for intentions. Even with the best of intentions people make mistakes. But it’s their inability or unwillingness to admit and correct their mistakes that nullifies their intentions. Now, were people admitting and rectifying things left and right, I’d be cool-beans.

Relationships? Eh. This is a sticky one. Because I don’t know if they mean familial, friendships, romantic, or all three. I’ve said it before. I’m not the best sibling. I can blame it on being raised as an only child. I’ve made resolutions to do better but for the life of me I don’t know how. Especially when one of my brothers was also raised as an only child and my other brother and sister were raised like they didn’t have a big sister. I’ve tried to talk to my sister but nothing much came of it. You know how teenagers are. Especially with people they don’t know. If I was judged on familial stuff, I give myself 27 points.

Funny thing is my relatives tell me she speaks highly of me to anyone who’ll listen. But hey, that could just be them trying to make me feel better. Grandmas and fathers are good for that. Humh. Maybe I should call the old dude sometime soon since my 06 hasn’t exactly started off too great. From the meeting that translated into, “Uh yeah we’re gonna have to cut costs through salaries and contracts,” at work to getting ill and having the person who should have been there be nowhere to be found. But whatever. You live and you learn right?

Speaking of learning, you ever think you have something figured out. You’ve seen it before. You know how it works. And you assure yourself that next time you encounter it, because it’s almost unavoidable, you’ll do things differently? But then when the time comes, you don’t exactly want to do things differently? Even though you know better?? And you know that doing what you did last time will likely end with the same results you got last time? Ungood results?? My girl and I were talking about this earlier. That was a total tangent but since, once again, I’m on Unisom, I’m going to leave it here and hope you all can sort it out when this posts (automatically) later this week.

As a friend, I do alright. But I find that people expect too much from me when I’ve never really considered them friends. I don’t think I will be judged negatively because of it since I still try to help out where I can. And in 05 I decided to let some friendships go. Not because I didn’t really love the people but because they were not being a friend in return. I guess that’s how people feel when they put me on their friend list without me putting them on their’s. If ‘relationship’ refers to friendships, I give myself a firm 28.

Then there’s the romantic relationships. This one is the hardest for me because I think I’ve done pretty well. However, I have had a history of doing well with the absolute wrong-est guys. So while my actions may have been absolutely 153% sincere, they’ve been done with people who weren’t always on the up and up. But again, so goes life, right? I don’t know if points would be deducted for making poor mate choices. If that’s the case, could anyone ever get the whole 33.333 points?? Nerp. I am going to go ahead and believe that if the relationships we’re judged by are our romantic ones, I would give myself 27. Not because I don’t do the best I can, but because I recognize both parties play a role in the failure of a relationship. And please don’t go tryna turn this into a relationship post!! Because it’s not! M’Kay?

In the end, if grades were being given out and high greats get ‘In’, I estimate I’d score:

Work: 30
Word: 33.333
Relationships: 27.333 (Because I averaged all three types of relaitonships)

Total: 90.666 (Well would ya look at that? Three 6’s?!)

I guess I’m just squeaking in huh? Work? Word? Relationships?? Is that right? Is that it? Should anything else be added to that list? If that is what it’s all about, how do you think you’d be judged? How would you rate yourself?