The Cliches

First, yeah, I know I’m late. But whatever. Y’all can wait!!! I think Thursdays might be the relationship day. And today I’d like to talk about advice. I am a firm believe that when you’re in a relationship, all relationshippy dicsussions should within the relationship. I don’t go around asking my girls and frociates what they think ever little word a man speaks means. I had to learn this the hard way.

What I learned was that all too often it is true that misery loves company. And even if the person isn’t miserable, the advice they are giving you has to be taken with a grain of salt because you don’t know their alterior motives. It’s been a while since I sought advice. But the last time I did, I felt like a lot of the people were being manipulative in the ideas they were spouting out. I know when you’re in a situation, you have trouble seeing it from both sides. But damn. Does one have to be negative about everything?? Not really. Even if the situation is the most horrible ever, there’s a tactful way to provide solicited advice.

I recal once trying to decipher what a man’s words meant and ended up talking to my girl’s older brother. I’ve known him since the early 90’s so I figured he knew me well enough to help me clarify the situation. This man, this married man, within the first 15 seconds we were on the phone said to me, in a hushed tone, “Take it from a man who is married but doesn’t want to be…If I was a single man like that, I’d _______.” Now see, so soon as he said that, I didn’t want to hear a word he had to say. Because all of his advice comes from a place of bitterness and deceit.

Then with women, because I present the picture that things are always fabulous, even when they aren’t, if I go to them for advice, they have a gleam in their eyes because they see the chink in the armour they’ve been searching for. Not a good look. Plus, I hate the cliches people throw out. It sickens me because when folks do that, it tells me they aren’t honest enough to just say, “I don’t know what to tell you.” What’s so hard about that?

This doesn’t mean I talk to no one. But, I am super selective. I only talk to the people who have my best interest in mind and no alterior motives. And sometimes it’s not about me trying to solicite advice. It’s about venting. Still I can’t vent to everyone about everything. Can I tell y’all my mother has a mental roladex like an elephant! This broad recalls everything. Maybe not exactly correctly, but she does recall.

Ed Note: What I forgot to add in my post is that I also have issues taking advice about issues involving emotions from people who have not been in the situation. I once have my little heart ripped out, pissed upon, and fed to hungry vultures. A lot of my friends at the time told me to get over it and the such. Truth was, they’d never been IN LOVE and were only coming at me from what they thought based solely on logic and not even a hint of emotions.

Bottom line, in my relationships, I don’t believe the pro’s of seeking advice from anyone who will listen out-weight the con’s. Can you think of any pro’s that I’m missing?

I wanted to write more but I have a meeting and wanted to get something posted before C2A and SonnyRedd get everyone else wrapped up in their ‘God is all knowing conversation.’ Who knows. Maybe after my meeting, I’ll come back and add more.