Neck Punch

I’m starting this on Friday afternoon. I’m still pissed at the world. But I just went back to O’s page to read the latest comments. Then I realized I didn’t answer one of his questions about what I’d change about myself. I wrote how I would like to be able to lose control. To go off on the deep end with little regard for logic and retribution. Truth is, if I thought I could get away with it regularly, I would just walk around punching people in the neck. Square under their chin.

I’m not a tall person. I’ve given up on getting taller. And wearing stillettos every single day does give me a little lift but I usually end up not taller than anyone. Yet, I am tall enough that with or without shoes, I’m the perfect height to punch someone in the neck.

Skip to today–Monday and I realize that I have lost control before. And that most of us have. Is there a woman reading this who hasn’t? We have ALL been in our cars, walking, or whatever mode of transportation we use, convincing ourselves that what we’re doing or about to do isn’t crazy. Whenever we have to tell ourselves we’re being logical, we probably aren’t. When you are on your way somewhere but you have the mind to leave you spare ATM card and code in plain view on your coffee table because you’ve calculated the odds of needing someone to have bail money to get you out of jail, you probably aren’t thinking clearly. When it’s late at night and you drive from Baltimore to DC in a pair of terri-cloth shorts, a tank top, a cardigan sweater, house shoes, with your hair up in pin-curls, and sunglasses on because you want to NOT look crazy, but then get to your destination and realize you can’t find a parking space and don’t want to walk any long distance from your car to his house because you don’t have a coat on, just know, you probably have lost it.

I don’t blame women for doing these things. It’s damn near second nature to a lot of us. I blame men. Grown men know ALL women have the potential for crazy. Just because she has behaved logically, hell been the picture of logical behavior for a solid year, don’t think if you piss her off and the moon, stars, and sun align right, she will not flip off on your ass. Why chance it? What you should be doing is thanking your lucky stars for every time you do something slightly wrong and you sleep peacefully that night. Further, you need to look at your woman’s friends and thank them if you get away with something because they might be the voice of reason that stopped her from shutting off all of your utilities in the winter!

I would also suggest you guys try to figure out exctly what might make her go off and not do it. For me, it’s actually the smaller things. Back in my youth, I was dealing with a guy who was less than nice. And one night we were on the phone, the conversation got heated and he thought he was going to hang up on me and have a peaceful sleep that night? Hell-to-the-naw! Nevermind that it was late. Never mind he lived a considerable distance. He knew I didn’t play that. But he did it anyway. I could: a) turn over and go to bed and deal with it the next day; b) call him back; c) get up, get dressed, and drive down to DC so he could get a full understanding of my pissivity. If you guessed ‘C’ give yourself three points. We dealt with each other for years after that. He never hung up on me again. Small things!!!

There are some things that you men do and you just have to know there’s going to be hell to pay. Lying about kids and wives and addresses? Come on. Do you really think any woman worth her weight in salt is going to let those lies slide? Even if she just drops your ass with just a harsh cursing out, you should know that you deserve so much more. And maybe the only reason she didn’t completely go off is because she didn’t like you that much to begin with.

Am I condoning bad behavior from women? Not really. But I completely understand being mad! We would even have to deal with such ugliness if men didn’t feel the need to show out. See?